In a market where everyone is hiring and pay is competitive, what is setting your team apart from others? I don’t mean just to get someone in the door for an interview, but to keep them around long term. The average employee is not looking for a place to be for a quick minute; most are looking for a long-term home to settle in and get comfortable.

In this article, I won’t be talking about things like benefits and pay—although sometimes those are the most important factors for an employee making the initial decision to join your team. However, some could argue that it’s the “soft skills” of a manager that will get an employee to stay. Let’s start with employee onboarding.

Setting expectations

Congratulations, the candidate has accepted your offer, and their start date is set! HR has their side of the onboarding process to complete, but as a manager, what’s yours? How are you setting up that brand new employee to succeed?

Aside from all the fun things we typically do to make someone feel welcome, setting expectations with your new team member is key. By doing this, you’re already letting them know the initial ways they can be successful on your team. What are the arrival and departure times? What do breaks and lunchtime look like? Is remote work allowed? What is your call-in policy? What is the cell phone policy? What is the standard for client interaction and response time? These are examples of items that, if you’re not establishing them right away, you could be setting them up to fail simply because you never went over them.

Remember, they don’t know what they don’t know! And as a manager, it’s our job to help them know!

Growing, staying put, and empowering

Does your employee want to be empowered to grow? Or do they want to be empowered to stay exactly where they are and be good at it? I’ve had a mix of both in my time, and the approach for each is actually not that different. The environment you promote should be one of empowerment for your employees to make decisions, send the email without needing your approval, be the expert in their area without constant second checking, do the research and present it, be in the meetings with you and your executive team, trusting them to manager their time as a professional adult, helping them understand the team initiatives, and feeling comfortable to take the reins on things even when you’re out of the office.

My own manager once told me, “I manage by results, not by the clock.” Some teams may have very strict start and stop times where managing by the clock is a must, so consider the dynamic of your team. As both a manager and an employee, though, that mindset has been very freeing for me.

If you foster an environment where your employee can use the empowerment to eventually grow within or outside of the company, you win. If you foster an environment where your employee can use that empowerment to be the best they can be in their role, but don’t want the extra responsibility that comes with growth, you have also won. And in both cases, so have they!

Maybe you have an employee that you know without a shadow of a doubt you would promote, and they want to grow, but the company just doesn’t have the position or space for the growth—it’s also your duty to be honest with them in that case too. You don’t want to be a setback for someone who deserves more.

I’ve had employees who knew more than I, and I’ve had employees who knew less than I. Word of advice: one of the worst things you can do as a manager is to allow yourself to be threatened by an employee who knows more than you do. In the end, it will only hurt both of you. Pride yourself in developing a team where they each bring something to the table, making the team so well-rounded that they could handle almost anything that comes their way.

Let’s communicate

Is communication the pillar of it all? The jury is out, but it certainly sets a firm foundation. Communication is the first step to resolving issues and building strong, trusting relationships. Your employees should never want to avoid talking to you when they need you. Not wanting to disappoint you is ok for them to feel, but the lines of communication should always be open. And as a manager, you should always be ready to have positive or constructive discussions with your team. It may not always be comfortable, but avoiding things is not doing anyone any favors.

What about scheduling regular touch base meetings? Depending on how big your team is, a group team meeting might work best to help save everyone some time. Getting something recurring on the calendar can be beneficial, as it gives both yourself and your team the designated time and space to catch up on current items or upcoming things to be aware of as well. It can also be a time to revisit expectations or other team dynamics as well.

Let’s say it’s not work-related, and they need to just chat about life, are your doors open for that? We spend more time with each other each week than we do our own families, so what’s the balance? Of course, we are still in a professional environment, and all parties need to remember that, but if you set the expectation of what’s appropriate work talk and what’s not, then you’ve done your part as long as you maintain that.

It’s okay to let your team know that you’ll be the first to hold them accountable, but you’ll also be the first to cheer for them and support them, too. Even though it’s a working relationship, it’s still a relationship, and clear/open communication will foster mutual trust and loyalty on both sides.

Do as I say, and watch as I do too

Have you ever heard the saying “dirty fingernails”? I had not until I came to my current place of employment, but it couldn’t be more on point! As a manager, we shouldn’t be afraid to have dirty fingernails! We should never ask our team to do something that we haven’t done or that we wouldn’t do. If there’s a project that’s going to keep the team here late, as managers, we should be there too (and probably ordering some food to keep brains flowing). What about when times are tough? If there’s a client who isn’t thrilled about something, should we be in those conversations with our team to help navigate that difficult situation?

There’s a certain level of respect, loyalty, and a close bond that comes from knowing how to do what they do or being there with them through it. As a manager, let’s get in the weeds! We can never be too good for the people or the situations that have made us who we are.

Your circus, your monkeys

Sometimes we get so caught up in the daily workload that we forget to talk about the most important part of our workdays: our teams and how we’re helping to develop them through our soft skills. You’re asking your employees to hopefully make a long-term commitment to your team—how are you showing them that you’re making one to them, too?

And always remember, whether right or wrong, difficult or easy, their progress and success are a direct reflection of you and the environment you provide. They are your monkeys, and it is your circus.