Here’s the sitch. You’re vibing. You’ve been longing; you have needs. They rizzed you up, and you haven’t felt the ick. You weren’t in the game, and the idea of playing sounds exhausting, and now you find yourself feeling down-bad. At this point, if you decide to shoot your shot and commit, you know you’re taking a risk, but you feel like you have a connection.

You haven’t seen any obvious red flags; you haven’t seen any green flags either. I mean, they made a great first impression! But are you compatible? They’ve made assurances, but they pull away when you try to get closer. It’s always the same excuse. Later. After we sign. I just need to know we’re committed before I’m ready to be that vulnerable. You’ve been burned in the past, but maybe things will be different this time.

Or, to put this in credit union terms: You’ve thought about adding a new service but haven’t had the time or effort to look into the available options. As a happenstance, just that service or vendor shows up; they’re offering a promotion, there’s a rare opportunity, or you’re trying to figure out what to do with some end of year budget surplus. The representative is very likeable; the product demo helps you to imagine how it will neatly solve your problems.

But is everything really as good as it seems? You want to do your due diligence but you’re not sure what to look for. They say they have a thorough due diligence package, but they haven’t provided it to you, or there’s some barriers in the way. Pressure from the vendor combined with excitement for the product seems to be moving towards a ‘sign now, figure out the risks later’ approach. What is one to do?

Have you ever found yourself evaluating a new vendor or service provider and found yourself in this situation? Good vendor management is less about finding the perfect vendor and more about understanding compatibility, managing expectations, spotting red flags, and maintaining the relationship over time.

The dating profile

If you’ve ever used a dating app or website to meet someone, then you may be familiar with how different meeting them in person felt from their profile. Online, you see what’s been selected and curated, run through an algorithm to show you someone you’re likely to have a connection with. You don’t typically lead with that unflattering photo, or that quirky thing you do; you’re trying to show your best side after all!

Vendors try to present their best side as well through their website, their sales decks, references, certificates, and questionnaires. What they tell you about themselves online is the starting point, but as any person would tell you, it takes some time before you really get to know someone.

From a vendor management perspective, this information is useful, but it’s just the starting point. In order to discover if there’s true compatibility, we’re going to need to dig a little deeper.

The first date: due diligence before commitment

In dating, this is when you ask questions that really matter to you—in vendor management, this is when you ask for their due diligence. What they provide, and what you need to see, should be commensurate with the level of risk and significance of the potential relationship; is this a casual thing, or are we talking long-term?

For long-term relationships, it’s important to get an understanding of their financial stability, security and privacy controls, regulatory compliance, business continuity, reputation and references, and even their ownership and subcontractors.

At this point, there’s clear chemistry between you, but discovering a major incompatibility at this point can save us from an expensive breakup down the road. It might not feel sexy, but asking important questions—even if they feel difficult—will help the relationship feel more secure later rather than leave us second-guessing.

The red flags: don’t ignore what makes you uncomfortable

Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. Maybe this has been you, or maybe you’ve had a friend—you know the one. You can see the signs, but they’re swept off their feet. They rationalize the warning signs. “I can change them.” You watch the disaster slowly unfold.

Sometimes enthusiasm for a vendor or service can blind us to the problems that were always there. If you want to avoid this happening to you or your friends, look out for these indicators that a vendor isn’t as mature or ready as they may seem.

• Evasive answers
• Missing documentation
• Repeatedly changing commitments
• Poor communication
• Unexplained security incidents
• Excessive dependence on a single individual
• Resistance to contractual protections

One red flag may warrant an investigation, and maybe there’s room for growth or remedy. A pattern of issues, however, should change your risk decision. Don’t ignore what makes you uncomfortable, and hopefully, when it comes to vendor management, you don’t rely solely on one person.

The goal isn’t to eliminate all risk, but it’s important to recognize it and accept it if it’s present so that you can know how to manage it if you decide to move forward in the relationship.

Becoming exclusive: contracting and setting expectations

Things are progressing, and it’s time to define the relationship. Congratulations! In order to have a successful relationship, it’s important to set boundaries and outline expectations, and it’s best to do this early instead of after something goes wrong.

In vendor management, the relationship is defined through the contract. These are the areas you’ll need to cover to set yourself up for success:

• Roles and responsibilities
• Service levels
• Security obligations
• Incident notification
• Data ownership
• Audit rights
• Termination rights
• Exit assistance

A common phrase in vendor management is that the contract is the strongest control in the vendor relationship. The contract sets the entire relationship up on a trajectory that could mean a great relationship for years, or ensures you have the protections in place when you realize it’s not just the right fit.

Just like a prenup, having a good understanding of how things will be handled when we’re no longer feeling warm and fuzzy can mean greater security throughout the relationship and ensure you’re not afraid to address it when your needs aren’t being met.

Finding your perfect match

Just like in real life, vendor relationships take work and effort, but successful relationships can be a significant benefit for both parties. In the future, we’ll talk about managing the relationship, ongoing monitoring, and breakups—which is where AuditLink Vendor Management can help you keep things in perspective.